Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
