Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
