Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
