look no pants
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize