Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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