Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
