i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Alive.
So much puke
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
