you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?