weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.