We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.