you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Randomize
