totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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