Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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