i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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