like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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