How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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