apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
