Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
