Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
We had sex on a dog bed..
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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