there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
