hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
