quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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