I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Randomize
