My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
