I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
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