Is it normal to miss your booty call?
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
