i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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