We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
