READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
