Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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