After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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