a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize