and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
