this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
