Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
