i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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