wrigley field is MILF paradise
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
