Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
3pm strippers are depressing
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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