Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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