And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Alive.
So much puke
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
