ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Randomize
