Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
