yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
