I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
