This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
50% drunk capacity currently
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
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