Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize