Texts From Last Night

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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid

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  (610): oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid http://tfl.nu/g7bt
  Replies (6) Good night (2341) Bad night (575)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"

  (1-513): View more from Ohio

  You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.

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  (513): So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!" (1-513): You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks. http://tfl.nu/bvbo
  Replies (30) Good night (786) Bad night (1714)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?

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  (860): Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims? http://tfl.nu/jffq
  Replies (45) Good night (4127) Bad night (1002)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.

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  (267): Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids. http://tfl.nu/vgjd
  Replies (33) Good night (5850) Bad night (954)
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  (631): View more from New York

  I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.

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  (631): I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song. http://tfl.nu/vyfy
  Replies (17) Good night (874) Bad night (4890)
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.

  (1-662): View more from Mississippi

  I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.

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  (662): Stop introducing me to people as your little sister. (1-662): I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother. http://tfl.nu/5xkr
  Replies (31) Good night (8023) Bad night (1641)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever

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  (704): You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever http://tfl.nu/czge
  Replies (3) Good night (1065) Bad night (2417)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?

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  (303): Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing? http://tfl.nu/qv8w
  Replies (12) Good night (1575) Bad night (1010)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.

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  (205): Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes. http://tfl.nu/ntyj
  Replies (9) Good night (2566) Bad night (704)
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  (661): View more from California

  It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas

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  (661): It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas http://tfl.nu/7a5h
  Replies (9) Good night (1569) Bad night (791)
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  (002): View more from

  There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink

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  (002): There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink http://tfl.nu/tsjq
  Replies (8) Good night (1807) Bad night (458)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..

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  (919): I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number.. http://tfl.nu/y7re
  Replies (8) Good night (1286) Bad night (832)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.

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  (615): Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly. http://tfl.nu/1cg3
  Replies (1) Good night (568) Bad night (393)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?

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  (757): Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window? http://tfl.nu/40u0
  Replies (6) Good night (628) Bad night (277)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore

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  (505): Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore http://tfl.nu/mshh
  Replies (2) Good night (776) Bad night (381)

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