Texts From Last Night

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  (804): View more from Virginia

  girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.

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  (804): girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe. http://tfl.nu/ztj4
  Replies (42) Good night (10207) Bad night (1055)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed

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  (425): My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed http://tfl.nu/4mh9
  Replies (13) Good night (5202) Bad night (1338)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked

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  (908): I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked http://tfl.nu/8tmt
  Replies (11) Good night (4075) Bad night (962)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.

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  (806): Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit. http://tfl.nu/p6mu
  Replies (9) Good night (2290) Bad night (1139)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed

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  (480): He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed http://tfl.nu/idar
  Replies (6) Good night (860) Bad night (2697)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.

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  (814): I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him. http://tfl.nu/ieqp
  Replies (15) Good night (3769) Bad night (879)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?

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  (815): Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train? http://tfl.nu/kbte
  Replies (3) Good night (1162) Bad night (998)
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  (928): View more from Arizona

  Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both

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  (928): Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both http://tfl.nu/0ibg
  Replies (2) Good night (1477) Bad night (715)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.

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  (215): You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk. http://tfl.nu/rohk
  Replies (10) Good night (2862) Bad night (918)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.

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  (814): The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain. http://tfl.nu/8v87
  Replies (1) Good night (1134) Bad night (486)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear

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  (630): And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear http://tfl.nu/df24
  Replies (12) Good night (1726) Bad night (831)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.

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  (705): I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught. http://tfl.nu/csvp
  Replies (4) Good night (980) Bad night (444)
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  (716): View more from New York

  Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening

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  (716): Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening http://tfl.nu/obf8
  Replies (4) Good night (393) Bad night (588)
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  (876): View more from Jamaica

  Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch

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  (876): Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch http://tfl.nu/u7hs
  Replies (4) Good night (606) Bad night (242)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?

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  (217): Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient? http://tfl.nu/tlkh
  Replies (0) Good night (175) Bad night (242)

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