i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
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What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
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Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
