Texts From Last Night

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  (415): View more from California

  I'll probably hate you when I'm sober

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  (415): I'll probably hate you when I'm sober http://tfl.nu/uq7b
  Replies (28) Good night (3714) Bad night (976)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.

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  (856): If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection. http://tfl.nu/y6yr
  Replies (50) Good night (911) Bad night (8009)
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  (805): View more from California

  I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.

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  (805): I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome. http://tfl.nu/p5hg
  Replies (8) Good night (2158) Bad night (3014)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.

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  (910): He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts. http://tfl.nu/0rlv
  Replies (22) Good night (3259) Bad night (1609)
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  (510): View more from California

  I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.

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  (510): I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend. http://tfl.nu/lprg
  Replies (10) Good night (5766) Bad night (715)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.

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  (704): Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining. http://tfl.nu/owux
  Replies (14) Good night (5441) Bad night (1120)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..

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  (970): dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them.. http://tfl.nu/vwfx
  Replies (6) Good night (3100) Bad night (1510)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.

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  (703): I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU. http://tfl.nu/rhle
  Replies (16) Good night (5488) Bad night (1219)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...

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  (253): Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning... http://tfl.nu/es8o
  Replies (6) Good night (2753) Bad night (815)
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.

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  (858): I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling. http://tfl.nu/biin
  Replies (10) Good night (1413) Bad night (705)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.

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  (262): I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger. http://tfl.nu/vt6v
  Replies (6) Good night (706) Bad night (385)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith

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  (765): My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith http://tfl.nu/fwgv
  Replies (2) Good night (663) Bad night (304)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.

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  (406): She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony. http://tfl.nu/xx47
  Replies (3) Good night (613) Bad night (340)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park

  (210): View more from Texas

  Surprise ending

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  (210): Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park (210): Surprise ending http://tfl.nu/6dpe
  Replies (2) Good night (626) Bad night (238)
• Favorite

  (424): View more from California

  I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn

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  (424): I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn http://tfl.nu/bfkb
  Replies (3) Good night (390) Bad night (197)

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