Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(360): View more from Washington

Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.

(1-360): View more from Washington

You win. Erica always eats cat food.

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(360): Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal. (1-360): You win. Erica always eats cat food. http://tfl.nu/lw2c

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament

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(603): I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament http://tfl.nu/4ewl

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(415): View more from California

Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok

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(415): Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok http://tfl.nu/rrpn

Replies (37) Good night (7111) Bad night (813)
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(310): View more from California

Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on

(1-310): View more from California

I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his

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(310): Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on (1-310): I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his http://tfl.nu/vdif

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(314): View more from Missouri

What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house

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(314): What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house http://tfl.nu/pjzi

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(612): View more from Minnesota

So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout

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(612): So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout http://tfl.nu/u300

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(360): View more from Washington

We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.

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(360): We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times. http://tfl.nu/t6mj

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(786): View more from Florida

i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"

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(786): i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy" http://tfl.nu/v0t3

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(315): View more from New York

Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.

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(315): Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30. http://tfl.nu/jue0

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese

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(215): she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese http://tfl.nu/9mra

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(419): View more from Ohio

Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.

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(419): Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit. http://tfl.nu/7cu4

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(334): View more from Alabama

Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.

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(334): Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love. http://tfl.nu/oh98

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(205): View more from Alabama

Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.

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(205): Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up. http://tfl.nu/igo8

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(618): View more from Illinois

I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!

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(618): I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!! http://tfl.nu/uufd

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship

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(508): I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship http://tfl.nu/b7qc

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