I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I'm having to shit out rocks
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