i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
