the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
