i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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