TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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