She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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