There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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