your parents love me but you hate me
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Randomize
