im holly from the hills drunk
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
