i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
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True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
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Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
