so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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