Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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