yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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