At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
