You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Vodka?
Forever.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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