she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
