I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
