Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
