He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
