he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
