Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
